Who says what in a set of wedding speeches?

A wedding speech isn't just one speech. Its part of a set of speeches that together, must entertain and resonate with everyone who hears them.

But therein lies a paradox. The speeches should play off each other, but the speakers do not get to see what other speakers are going to say.

We help bridge that gap.

Did you know..

"..the best man does not toast the bride and groom (a common mistake). The toast to the bride and groom has already been proposed by the father of the bride."

Davidson, George. Perfect Wedding Speeches and Toasts. Random House, 05/07/2007

  • How speeches should interact versus...

    Good wedding speeches need to work together by 

    • having call-backs to earlier speeches,
    • dropping hints of what is to come in a later speech,
    • avoiding content that was already spoken,
    • ensuring that everything important is said.
  • ..how they often actually interact

    When things go wrong, aside from the quality of each individual speech, the problems often include:

    • overlapping content. One speaker repeats what a previous one said, just in different words
    • missing content: some important things are left unsaid. Or people aren't properly acknowledged

Who says what? It depends!

There is no one perfect way to organise wedding speeches. Each family is different and so each wedding is different. Whereas a young couple will typically have a father of the bride who is excited to give a speech, an older couple might have a sibling or even an adult child give a speech covering some of the same types of content. Some variant of the same content, can be delivered by different role players at different weddings. Have a look at the below example.

  • In the first slide (below), we have the groom mentioning a grandmother and giving a toast to the bridesmaids
  • The second slide shows what might happen if the bride decides to speak. She might mention her own grandmother, and toast her own bridesmaids, freeing up the groom to do something else
  • The third slide considers what might happen at an older couple's wedding where the father of the bride is no longer with us. The groom might be the host of the wedding, and so will take over that piece of content - to welcome people. As the only speaker who isn't the couple, it would then fall upon the best man to offer a toast to the bride and groom.
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Some other wedding-speech fails

The list of things that go wrong during wedding speeches is very long and won't be entirely unfamiliar to most people. For example when a speaker:

  • rambles on for too long
  • goes too far in making fun of the groom, making the groom uncomfortable
  • reveals too much when making fun of the groom, and makes the bride very angry
  • talks for 40 minutes about a long-ago sports team and almost forgets to mention the supposed-subject of his speech, the bride
  • uses entirely inappropriate language
  • is drunk
  • forgets his lines
  • tells the punchline before the setup of a joke
  • hasn't bothered to write a speech
  • makes a joke about golf at own wedding. Isn't talking about golf.
  • uses the speech to make snarky comments about the Ex who she hasn't seen in decades
  • insults one of the mothers
  • races through the entire speech, seemingly on one breath
  • reads the full speech in a plodding monotone voice
  • disrespects women with crude remarks
  • fills the speech with admittedly-funny anecdotes that have nothing to do with the wedding, and doesn't even try to relate them back to it
  • ..

At WeWriteSpeeches we can't guarantee that the delivery of all speeches by all speakers at the wedding will be perfect, but we can help either create or oversee the content!

We have already thought about this

Here is how we deal with this

Our AI tool...

Our AI speechwriting tool generates speeches based on a combination of:

  • rules we have built into it
  • information you give it (names, if couple have children etc.)
  • curated content that you select (quotes, funny or sentimental lines etc.)
  • content generated by (or blended together by) OpenAI's GPT AI model, based on a mix of our prompts and the content you have given us.

Our speech-generator determines which content to show based on a complex interaction of rules.

Our REVIEW service.

Our REVIEW services are based on the idea that the speakers at your wedding will send us their speeches for an independent, discrete and very friendly review.

We then review the speeches, not only to identify and correct quality issues, but to:

  • find opportunities to add foreshadowing, call-backs or other interactions
  • find opportunities to add rhetorical devices where they can improve the impact or effect
  • cross-check the speeches against each other to find duplicate or clashing content
  • check that the speeches collectively cover all the content that needs to be included (yet don't go on for too long)

Our ELITE service

Our ELITE package includes all the benefits you get from the reviews in the REVIEW service, but we use professional speechwriters to actually create the content.

Because we are the ones actually writing the speeches, we have more control of the content. So rather than have to urge a speaker to remove some content he/she is attached to, we don't include it in the first place.

  • Speechwriting

    We offer 2 modalities:

    • Self-service using our online tool which is powered by our own proprietary algorithms and supplemented by AI (ChatGPT)
    • Professional speechwriting based on a consultation / interview
  • Reviewing and editing

    We act as a discrete neutral party who can review each speakers speeches. We weed out duplicate or inappropriate content, make suggestions for improvement. As we review all speeches in the wedding together, we suggest call-backs etc.

  • Coaching

    We offer one-on-one coaching for speakers who require some extra guidance. This is tailored for the individual speaker with guidance on how to manage nerves as well as how to deliver their particular speech (where to pause etc.)

  • Reminders

    Where we are involved in writing or reviewing the wedding speeches, we remind the speakers to get their content/ reviews/ updates submitted on time. Early speechwriting means more time to practice speech delivery.